Ugh, I think I'm depressed.

As if any of you care about my complaints, I really need to just vent.

I don't even know where to start, but I hope that the rest of the week gets better. I feel like I'm going crazy.. really. I kinda hope that it's this patch that I'm on, messing with my hormones or something, but I'm not sure. It's like I'll get really excited, then really depressed, and extremely irritable. Normally when I'm mad or annoyed, I never say anything, but lately I feel like I've had to apologize for my attitude more than I ever have.

NOTE: I can't stand it when people who are pregnant or are on medicine blame treating people like crap on their condition. DISCLAIMER: I'm not doing that.. I really feel bad about my moodiness!

During the work week, I am extremely busy with tons of people and things lined up calling my name. Trust me, I don't mind responsibility or jobs to do [better than nothing at all], but I feel like I've just been so overwhelmed lately. Saturday, I went into work from 8:30 to 5:30 just getting things done while the office was closed and when I came in to work yesterday, it was all piled up again. Not to mention, I am everyone's "go-to" person and all the favors here and there has been pushing my own job further down the line.

On the weekends, I basically just try to get some rest and things done around the house. Lately, we've been going to the lake at least once every weekend, but things around the house are getting backed up. I feel like once I'm home, I lose all of my energy. Keep in mind that I'm the girl when the bedroom is messy, I can't sleep in it.. but I have just been letting things go lately. But I must say that I don't live in a barn neither.. even on lazy days, I keep it somewhat tidy.

I also think [and I hope not] that I'm going through some sort of a depression or something. My anxiety has been like crazy lately [I mean weekly panic attacks] and a lot of tears have been shed. If you asked me why.. I would say "I don't know." It's so weird.

I am starting to feel really lonely too though. I mean I have my husband and all, but as far as friends go.. I don't really hang out with anyone anymore. Not because I don't want to but because we've all just lost touch. It's quite sad and another thing that I can't explain.

I don't know what's going on, but I'm not liking it. Mrs. Terri [my fertility specialist] said that if I've experienced anxiety and depression in my life then I'm more likely going to have postpartum depression [if I ever get pregnant] which definitely scares me. Then again, right now.. everything scares me, pisses me off, or makes me cry. Why not add something else to the list?

As I'm typing out all of my complaints and negative feelings, my husband and Georgia come walking in the door. [Georgia goes to work with Daddy everyday.. it's so sweet!] Bryan has picked me a bright pink rose off of our rose bush in the yard and he says, "Hey honey, this is for you!" Now I need to go cry.. haha.. really. :) I wasn't lying when I said my emotions have been really extreme.