I find myself struggling on how to start this post. Less than 24 hours ago, my Uncle Mike got called home to the Lord. I guess you could say I'm feeling somewhat numb, feeling shocked.. he was only 51 years old.
His departure makes me question birth & death but most importantly the quality of our lives. The beginning and ending are nowhere near as important as the life that we make for ourselves. We are the ultimate decision makers on being happy, being helpful, living without boundaries.. or in Uncle Mike's case, a rebel without a cause with all of the above. I smile as I type that. He, by no means, was the man behind the pedestal on Sunday mornings but more of the man at the alter. However, he is a far greater role model to living your life without limits. I look back on the years that I thought he made bad decisions but I think about how he lived.
Ever since I got the news last night, I've done a lot of crying, a lot of hurting but also a lot of thinking. If I have learned anything from Uncle Mike, it's that life is way too short to be scared of everything. Life is way more exciting when we actually live it. I've spent countless days of my life thus far in anxiety and fear. Why not live life while we still have it? Why not experience life for myself instead of just trying to figure it out from the sidelines. If we all just lived more and complained less, I can't even begin to think of how much happier we would all be.
I thank God that just last weekend, he came to visit us here in Panama City. My cousin Erica (Uncle Mike's daughter), TG (Erica's boyfriend) and Alyssa (their baby girl) all stayed here with Bryan and I while Uncle Mike and Ingrid (his wife) stayed next door with my parents for the weekend. We all went out to eat on Friday night, had a cookout on Saturday and they left on Sunday. Just last night, he passed away. I can't thank God enough for us being able to see him one last time.. he seemed to be doing fine.
I thank God for the talk that he had with Bryan. He was letting Bryan know that I chose a good guy to marry. He was joking around, like usual, laughing and having a good time. He even mentioned Bryan and I trying to have 4 kids at one time with this fertility treatment. He has 7 kids himself, with a little boy on the way. He told me Saturday night that when he hit 50 years old, he figured he would just start over and keep having kids. :)
When I pray everyday, I always ask God, "God please keep your hands of safety, protection, happiness, good health and forgiveness over each and every one of our families, our friends and our loved ones.. and all of their family, their friends and their loved ones." Now I have a decision to make. Do I get mad with God for not answering my prayer or do I thank God for each day that He blessed us with Uncle Mike. I choose to thank God for everything.. even the things I don't understand. I choose to thank God for his love and what he teaches us in each experience. I choose to thank God, period.
His departure makes me question birth & death but most importantly the quality of our lives. The beginning and ending are nowhere near as important as the life that we make for ourselves. We are the ultimate decision makers on being happy, being helpful, living without boundaries.. or in Uncle Mike's case, a rebel without a cause with all of the above. I smile as I type that. He, by no means, was the man behind the pedestal on Sunday mornings but more of the man at the alter. However, he is a far greater role model to living your life without limits. I look back on the years that I thought he made bad decisions but I think about how he lived.
Ever since I got the news last night, I've done a lot of crying, a lot of hurting but also a lot of thinking. If I have learned anything from Uncle Mike, it's that life is way too short to be scared of everything. Life is way more exciting when we actually live it. I've spent countless days of my life thus far in anxiety and fear. Why not live life while we still have it? Why not experience life for myself instead of just trying to figure it out from the sidelines. If we all just lived more and complained less, I can't even begin to think of how much happier we would all be.
I thank God that just last weekend, he came to visit us here in Panama City. My cousin Erica (Uncle Mike's daughter), TG (Erica's boyfriend) and Alyssa (their baby girl) all stayed here with Bryan and I while Uncle Mike and Ingrid (his wife) stayed next door with my parents for the weekend. We all went out to eat on Friday night, had a cookout on Saturday and they left on Sunday. Just last night, he passed away. I can't thank God enough for us being able to see him one last time.. he seemed to be doing fine.
I thank God for the talk that he had with Bryan. He was letting Bryan know that I chose a good guy to marry. He was joking around, like usual, laughing and having a good time. He even mentioned Bryan and I trying to have 4 kids at one time with this fertility treatment. He has 7 kids himself, with a little boy on the way. He told me Saturday night that when he hit 50 years old, he figured he would just start over and keep having kids. :)
When I pray everyday, I always ask God, "God please keep your hands of safety, protection, happiness, good health and forgiveness over each and every one of our families, our friends and our loved ones.. and all of their family, their friends and their loved ones." Now I have a decision to make. Do I get mad with God for not answering my prayer or do I thank God for each day that He blessed us with Uncle Mike. I choose to thank God for everything.. even the things I don't understand. I choose to thank God for his love and what he teaches us in each experience. I choose to thank God, period.
(Photo courtesy of Erica's mySpace.)Rest peacefully Uncle Mike.. don't stir up too much trouble in Heaven. We'll miss you, way more than you know.It makes me wonder; how long does it take an individual to realize that the answer to life is not searching for the answer but simply, living it. Straight from the heart, I'm starting to realize that life is so much more than having children, making money or growing older.
The answer is love. In all that we do, the answer is living life with love.
1 comment:
Im so sorry. I just emailed you.
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