2nd Cycle - 4th Appointment

Same old results, just a different day. Still no response to the treatments yet.

Normally Mrs. Terri would give it until today before she decides that the treatment is not working, however she is going to check us out again next Tuesday and see if I'm just a slow responder. Tuesday is the day that we see if I'm responding yet and if so, moving forward with trying to get pregnant OR to call this cycle quits and make plans for the next cycle.

Bryan and I are really not in a situation to keep doing this month after month so I think we have decided to hold off on the treatments for now and just kind of play it by ear.. save up some more money and strength to do this again later. You see I am already expecting bad news on Tuesday.. better than getting my hopes up I guess. So if it goes as expected, then we will pick it back up when we both decide we are ready to continue.

I was doing a little bit (well a lot bit) of thinking today and the conversation in my head is as follows. God has blessed me with a wonderful husband, a beautiful home, nice vehicles and the opportunity to try this treatment. What in the world makes me think that I am just supposed to get (as if I deserve it all) a baby out of all of this? I thank God for all that I have everyday but should I just quit asking and enjoy the things I do have? But then again, the Bible talks about "ask and you shall receive".. "the desires of your heart." I'm just so torn.. and confused.

I know that in everything I do, I should give thanks. I am so appreciative of what the Lord has done for me that I feel like I shouldn't ask for anything else. I also feel like I need to persistently keep my eyes on my goal to make it there one day. Does that make sense? Probably not but oh well.

So for something totally unrelated to "baby-making," Bryan and I have repainted the master bathroom and I LOVE it. If you like the greens, Green Tea is a gorgeous color made by Behr. It is now the color of our kitchen and our bathroom and I couldn't be happier with the way it turned out. Yay!

Something else Bryan and I have done.. traded HIS motorcycle for OUR new waverunner. I like that little "his-to-our" system.. works out nicely. :) It is so much fun and we've spent every weekend for the past two months (at least) at the lake or the beach. It has been so much fun, awesome exercise and better than paying for the tanning bed, that's for sure. Maybe I will take some pictures and post them soon.